Martha, Martha, Martha

I feel the need to explain to ya'll why Martha is a superior being, and why I love her so. Here it is;
1.) yes, she was sentenced 5 months prison time for lying a bit...about some dumb stocks. Was it wrong? Yes. Everyone lies sometimes. Also, I give her mad props for doing her prison time instead of being a sissy and getting out of it. Look at the great Nelson Mandela; he was in prison for 27 years and went on to become a great leader. Also, who else could calm the harsh female prisoner attitudes and teach them how to be domestic and knit? Only Martha the great.
2.) Her signature color is the most perfect form of blue in the entire color palate. Fact.
3.) She can do everything. She is a domestic godess and is not thought of as being weak, overly feminine or too mushy. She is a master seamstress, decorator, cook, baker, cleaner, designer and business woman. She was even a politician before becoming Martha the great.
4.) She allows her daughter to have a show that solely makes fun of her. Any woman who can permit a show that is nothing but jokes of herself and still claim her daughter is a badass. I'm sorry. It's the truth.
5.) She's old and still looks amazing. Martha is 68 years old, people.
6.) She has a magazine, a few tv shows, a radio STATION, and numerous lines of products
7.) She makes up her own rules, even though they are OCD. So don't you dare use the white washcloths to take your makeup off while staying as a guest at her home...there are ones emboidered "makeup" for that shit.

And that is why Martha is better than us.